Do you know what it's like to walk into a store and know that before you do, you're every move is going to be watched and scrutinized? That someone will pay closer attention to the video monitors or will be staring at those mirrored bubbles that hang from the ceiling even harder because of you? Do you know what it's like to consciously keep your hands out of your pockets? Do you know what it's like to be followed up and down every aisle of a store, and asked repeatedly if any help is needed no matter how many times their assistance is turned down?
Do you know what it's like to sit down on a crowded bus or subway and immediately know that no one is going to sit down next to you? Do you know what it's like to feel like a stranger in the land you grew up in, that visitors to your land get more benefit of the doubt than you do? Do you know what it's like to be harassed, stopped, frisked, and hassled by the very same men and women who are sworn to protect and serve you? The very same men and women whose salaries come from your own tax dollars?
Do you know what it's like to be looked at as less than or not smart enough before you ever get the chance to open your mouth? Do you have any idea what it's like when people are "pleasantly surprised" at the fact that you're well read or well spoken, as if that was going to be so unlikely? Do you know what it's like to have your intelligence questioned, just because? Or your work ethic? Or your principals?
Do you know what it's like to be looked at with fear for doing absolutely nothing? That just as you know no one will sit next to you, someone will follow you, that the protect and serve people will racially profile you, that someone somewhere sees you as nothing more than a threat? Do you know what it's like to have people surprised to hear you don't have children, especially since they just assumed that you did, well..."because you ALL have children".
Do you know what it's like to be told that you're different, special, odd even because you're "not like the rest of them"? Do you know what it's like to have had to curb your natural self, put away your personality, divert your eyes, and make yourself small in such a way as to not frighten other people? Do you know what it's like to be shocked to make it out of your twenties?
Do you know how hard it is to not let all of this NOT drive you crazy? If you don't look like me then probably not.
Powerful post, M! Raw, unvarnished, brutal truth. To survive and succeed in an environment so driven by the foundation of stereotypes requires strength, wisdom, and perseverance. A black man's smallest move is too often automatically questioned and considered suspicious. The more all of us see and recognize the truth...the better we are able to address the problem from every angle and perspective. Many don't even stop to consider their socially engineered responses. Maybe...hopefully...with your posts, they will recognize how they or those around them contribute even in the smallest ways to make the lives of minorities and people of color so much more difficult. Every bit of change will be needed if this country is ever to find its way toward a land of equality, fair treatment, and peace.
ReplyDeleteThey don't have a clue. Love this.
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